STOP EATING SO DAMN MUCH!!

I got a diet plan that will work for anyone, everyone and even for all you fatties and there's an added bonus - it's free. It's simple and will actually save you money, especially for the double wides where major bucks can be had. There's no snake oil, no magic pills, no special herbs, no portion weighing, no books, and just plain no excuses. Here it is: STOP EATING SO DAMN MUCH!! I can't believe how much American culture has evolved around weak minded obese people and their meekly desire to have waist lines smaller than their inseams. And worse yet how many millions have been made off weak minded flabby uprights that owe it to themselves to try every fat fad that these modern day snake oilmen pander. Well people, if you keep shoveling excessive groceries into your mouth, quess what. The flab will keep on growing and rolling. It's really a simple relationship. The more you consume the more sweat creases you can proudly show off at the beach - thank Speedo for tight one piecers. The less you consume and the more you burn, the smaller the jelly pods become. There's no magic, no slight of hand, just plain caloric equilibrium. Ok, some folks claim a slow metabolism. And I say, so what. Good for you. Enjoy it and live a long and healthly life. But the caloric relationship still holds. You fortunately just need less stuffed into your mouth to survive. BTW, I do believe some chubbos do have slower metabolisms, but not because of a genetic difference or inbreeding. They are couch slobs. Very simple, no movement no reason for the bod to burn those twinkie rich calories. Same logic with the big boned pondits. Ya right, everybody has big bones. Again, live strong but you can't fool caloric balance. Ever been to an Asian country. Well you won't find any fat people in China, Thailand or Vietnam. Reason, they work their butts off. Many use 100 lb road pedal cruisers to get about, i.e., they work to move their ass. They also eat anything and everything that breathes or spouts and waste nothing. I mean nothing. No garbage for these folks. If it dangles off a mangy dog then it's good for some human nourishment. Ever been to Europe. Not many wide loads across the pond. The descendants of our founding fathers still walk to work, serve human sized portions and don't have an obsession with fries with that please. When we have a society accepting stomach stapling as a remedy for weak mindedness we've crossed the line in personal self control and responsibility. Think about this. What does punching pop rivets into your new pigmy sized food bag really do. Well it tells your food trap that you shouldn't eat anymore. Didn't I just say that eating less causes less fat to be plopped onto your double wide ax handle hips. Why does it take major surgery to accomplish the same thing as common sense but drive up overall medical costs for the few remaining leanies. It gets worse. My guess is that tubby tonto with the megabuck stainless lined micro gut still finds a way to keep krispie cremes in the food trough to maintain that attractive double pudgy profile. You know the one that you always find yourself seated next to on the 2 hour commuter flight to Chicago. Come on people get a backbone, get some real exercise and leave the onion and cream chips in the bag.

Could you extra size that for me, I'm famished.