My least favorite foods

as defined by I would gladly die of a slow and agonizing starvation than even think about putting any of these monkey shits in my mouth.  I only list the foods that I have actually tried and/or been offered.  There are many others I have not tried but know I wouldn't like them just by looking, touching, smelling or just plain knowing.  For example:  pig nads.

tapioca pudding.

It looks like the result of a gag gone too far.

salmon pea wiggle.

I can still taste the crunchy bones.

cow belly, aka tripe.

The smell alone is worst than 3 day old road kill.

boiled cabbage.

See cow belly comment.

white chocolate.

Ok, this is weak dislike.  In a pinch I could down the stuff.  But chocolate is not supposed to be anything other than some shade of BROWN.

marshmallow ice cream.

A very bad combination.

roasted duck.

My Grandfather used to tell me that the only way to cook a duck is to boil a large pot of water, throw in the duck and an old leather boot and let simmer for 24 hours.  Then throw the duck away and chew on the boot.

dandy lion greens.

Hell, even cows won't touch this weed green.

lumpy gravy.

See tapioca pudding comment.

salt pork.

Fried fat is not made to be eaten.



Conundrum

co - nun - drum

noun

1. a difficult decision
2. WTF.

Some of my most perplexing conundrums:

  

little diabetic wonders

or

more little pancreatic overloads.

I'll sometimes just do the logical thing and gorge down a bag of both.

warm sand and soothing surf.

or

fresh snow and glass top lake.

Perhaps a summer/winter trade.

kick and glide.

or

shush.

Same apres-ski fun.

who in hell thought this procedure up!!

or

smart kittie.

or

Yep, this is a good idea!!  Note the knee pads :-)

I'd rather drop an anvil on my toe.

impressive diaphragm and vocal chords, but nap time.

or

impressive foot strength and toe calluses, but more snooze.

this awes me; ear-hand coordination and pure tonal acoustics!!

or

more awe!!

puppy breath and cuteness in one package.

or

sweet kitchen scent and fresh oven warmth in one package.

this ain't your grand daddy's hand clutch model B; much sweet horsepower.

or

Folks from the land of Caesar know great food and hot cars with styling horsepower.

Roughly the same cost, power and styling.  But considerably different draw-bar pulls.

Raylan.

or

Heisenberg.

or

Swearengen.

These are all must sees and iconic characters.

sweet bovine.

or

more sweet bovine.

or

and more bovine.

My lingering farm boy upbringing. 

heavy on the raisins.

or

same calorie count.

high octane chocolate.

or

10 mile run equivalent.

Man I love to eat!!

roadie.

or

for the dirt.

I love to work over one of man's most efficient transporters.

Perhaps not so much conundrums, but a variety of life's offerings :-)