sunday church dress up

A recent flurry of editorials have hijacked the local newspaper's editorial page regarding the proper attire for church going. The fact that this is even an issue with anyone activates my dopamine. It further blows my mind that I'm wasting bit space and bandwidth adding to this bad brother banter. But hey, it's the sabbath and this is my contribution to organized spiritually.

The pro dress up fringe argues that it shows disrespect for the almightly one to show up in church with beachware and tee ready golf clubs. Nipple rings would most likely be frowned upon as well. The dress as you are fringe points out that some of the more famous biblical folks wore sandals to church and hence set the precedent a couple millenia ago for casualware. Interestingly, no where is it mentioned that the majority of folks these days don't even attend church. Correlation?

It seems to me that the solution is obvious. Attendence allowed only in one's birthday suit. I bet attendence would go up significantly or at least the traffic near the venue of worship. There certainly would be no argument over who's the best and worst dressed. Aunt Mary would have to leave her Sunday bonnet in the shiny Lincoln. All members would bring their own seat doilies. We wouldn't want naked butts and periphery tainting the naturally stained fake oak pews. There might be side bets on who wins the sag and droop contest but people are people and we all know pettiness is part of the species' genome. It would also be a clever way to expose all those nipple rings. Everybody wins.

See ya in church.