Darrell goes hunting

The game of hunting is upon us. Let's take a look at the team rosters.

On the high brow side we have Darrell and his best friend Darrell. The weekend wonderkins are packing semi-automatic AK-47'S with 30 round clips with the anti-jam option. A high powered, variable focus 3x-20x scope mounted to each. One never knows if the widow in the neighboring trailer might be taking a shower. Three weekends at the local range has these annihilaters tuned in for 300 yard kill shots compensated for a 3 beer buzz. Camo blaze orange from toe to bonnet. Camoflauged orange, WTF, that works. Doe piss for activating the buck pheromones. It reportedly has the same effect on middle aged hairy men libidos. Just in case, everyone is packing a 10 day supply of the little blue pills tucked safely in the soft leather belt pouch. A 10" stainless hardened steel buck stabber with a seratted edge for ripping warm bellies is neatly strapped to the right calf - true Rambo style. Anti-human smell potion freshly misted on. Ya right, if that stuff really worked every wife and girlfriend in America would be stocking a case of this mystery elixir. Two-way, crackling walkie talkies are fired up for reliving the blonde jokes. Battery powered thermal underwear with the undersized weiner flap is zipped up tight. Military grade GPS locators and a 5 dollar compass for the direction challenged are part of the arsenal. NASA reflective body wrap for a night in the woods is tucked away next to the little blue pills. Ya right, these boys won't get anymore than a 100 yards from the camp and the beer cooler. For the real rough necks with the ape hair backs a tree stand with a portable HDTV plasma flat screen with a Direct TV hookup awaits.

On the game side we have a wise old buck who knows that it's time to take a two week hike to the deep woods. Any distance more than a quarter mile from the road and camp will be all the protection needed for this annual Darrell fest.