the pathetically clueless

What does one have to do to make it on the "pathetically clueless" list? Here's a few starters.

- toss a butt out the window of your car.....you have yellow teeth.....the car reeks of smoke.......your breath would knock a camel down.......but you can't stomach putting the butt in the ashtray
- toss a butt on the sidewalk and give it a good foot twist to grind the dark deep ash into the concrete.......real attractive
- toss a butt anywhere but in the ashtray
- wear a bumper sticker that says my kid made the honor role.....BTW, absolutely no one cares
- circle the parking lot 13 times looking for a spot closer to the door
- park between the only 2 cars in the lot.....if you're that lonely and need human contact......visit Manhattan and ride the subways at rush hour
- park next to my car..........the only other car in the lot
- park in the handicapped spot..........even if you're handicapped
- leave your grocery cart in the middle of the isle to read the label on the Campbells tomato soup can
- leave your grocery cart in the middle of the parking lot...next to my car...on a slope...in the wind
- run a red light......you're as likely to be deep-sixed as the poor fool you hit
- pass school bus while it's lights are flashing.......your kids might be on that bus
- pass a semi on the right
- sell cars for a living........never met one that I liked
- sell insurance for a living......
- work for the IRS.........if the tax system was simple and direct these drolls would be out of jobs and off the public payroll
- tailgate.......has anyone ever sped up because they were being tailgated
- let your kids loose in the store, resturant, ....
- talk on your cell phone on an airplane, in a bus, on the subway, ....
- write Dear Abby........for real
- internet date.......for real
- watch Survivor, Amazing Race, American Idol, Who Wants to be a Millionare, ....
- send me religous propaganda....of any kind
- send me political propaganda....of any kind
- wear your religion on your sleeve.....don't you trust your faith?
- whine about the weather.......like it's better in the Amazon and the Artic
- whine about the traffic......like you're not contributing to it
- whine about your job.......if you call it your job then it's a job and it won't be any fun by definition
- in fact, whine about anything
- state that you work very hard.........who doesn't in their own mind
- rubberneck at an accident............do you think that will save the victims
- ask for a tip for a service already paid for........charge the market rate
- perpetuate rumors.......scum
- gossip.......more scum
- start gossip.......worst than scum
- ambulance chasing lawyers......who advertize on billboards and TV
- sit next to me and my date in an 1/2 empty theater
- talk during a movie
- get to the movie 10 minutes after the trailers have ended
- hum or whistle in public.........it ain't cool
- talk about your personal finances......no matter how bad or good they are
- brag about your kids......no matter how bad or good they are
- condemn drugs but chain smoke cigs and swill alkie
- wish for the good old days.........like when caves were the new suburbia and the sabertooth was to be feared
- claim to be old fashioned.........like having a desire to do the laundry on a wash board and salt the meat
- proclaim God Bless America..........what's wrong with the rest of the universe
- don't understand today's kids.........were you understood as a kid
- watch golf on TV.........it's boring enough playing the game
- whine about being abused.........it's turning out that everybody was abused
- let the pets run your life
- put the vet's phone number on speed dial ahead of your doctor's number....and mine
- pay 2 dollars for a 10oz bottle of water and whine about the cost of gas.....and beer
- order Sam Adams beer thinking it's a fine microbrew
- order Budweiser thinking it's a beer
- a priest taking a vow of celibacy and abusing kids of the flock....if they truly believed, then offer them an option of being neutered