Yesterday, the day before the official start of fishing season, 1000's of farm raised trout were released into the favorite fishing holes of this wannabee wildlife state. Today, the official start of fishing season, 1000's of juiced up Daniel Boone wannabees stand shoulder-to-shoulder with carbon rods, reels of nylon and baited bobbers trying to lure yesterday's release. WTF!
I bet aquarium fishing becomes an Olympic sport.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
It just makes you scratch your head and shout WTF!
- Why do car driving smokers crack the window while smoking?
- Why do people order the fat dripping kalbasa and supersize fries with a diet coke?
- Why do baldies do an ear-to-ear comb over with 9 12" hairs?
- Why are men with man-boobs not arrested for indecent exposure for going topless in public?
- Why are women without boobs arrested for decent exposure for going topless in public?
- Why doesn't the men's room have a sofa?
- How come men don't get to have a time of the month?
- Why would anyone willingly eat boiled cabbage?
- How come teenagers are so smart?
- Why do women who dress to the nines become offended if they are hit on?
- Why do men who dress to the nines become offended if they aren't hit on?
- Why do teenage boys dress like street alley beggars with more underwear than common sense?
- Why does our government subsidize tobacco and alchol and outlaw all other feel good drugs?
- Why are the income tax laws so complex they require a CPA and three Philadelphia tax attorneys to have an 80% chance of getting the 1040EZ form approved without an IRS audit?
- Why are there over 1,000,000 lawyers in the US and only 2,000,000 engineers?
- Why does our right to bear arms exclude surface-to-air missiles, rocket launchers, and Apache attack helicopters?
- Why does our right to bear arms include assault rifles, mace, and M50 rifles?
- Why do $100,000 RV's tow a second vehicle?
- Why would someone with nail bed fungus take a cure that puts their liver in jeopardy?
- Why is there a golf channel?
- Why do people order the fat dripping kalbasa and supersize fries with a diet coke?
- Why do baldies do an ear-to-ear comb over with 9 12" hairs?
- Why are men with man-boobs not arrested for indecent exposure for going topless in public?
- Why are women without boobs arrested for decent exposure for going topless in public?
- Why doesn't the men's room have a sofa?
- How come men don't get to have a time of the month?
- Why would anyone willingly eat boiled cabbage?
- How come teenagers are so smart?
- Why do women who dress to the nines become offended if they are hit on?
- Why do men who dress to the nines become offended if they aren't hit on?
- Why do teenage boys dress like street alley beggars with more underwear than common sense?
- Why does our government subsidize tobacco and alchol and outlaw all other feel good drugs?
- Why are the income tax laws so complex they require a CPA and three Philadelphia tax attorneys to have an 80% chance of getting the 1040EZ form approved without an IRS audit?
- Why are there over 1,000,000 lawyers in the US and only 2,000,000 engineers?
- Why does our right to bear arms exclude surface-to-air missiles, rocket launchers, and Apache attack helicopters?
- Why does our right to bear arms include assault rifles, mace, and M50 rifles?
- Why do $100,000 RV's tow a second vehicle?
- Why would someone with nail bed fungus take a cure that puts their liver in jeopardy?
- Why is there a golf channel?
the pathetically clueless
What does one have to do to make it on the "pathetically clueless" list? Here's a few starters.
- toss a butt out the window of your car.....you have yellow teeth.....the car reeks of smoke.......your breath would knock a camel down.......but you can't stomach putting the butt in the ashtray
- toss a butt on the sidewalk and give it a good foot twist to grind the dark deep ash into the concrete.......real attractive
- toss a butt anywhere but in the ashtray
- wear a bumper sticker that says my kid made the honor role.....BTW, absolutely no one cares
- circle the parking lot 13 times looking for a spot closer to the door
- park between the only 2 cars in the lot.....if you're that lonely and need human contact......visit Manhattan and ride the subways at rush hour
- park next to my car..........the only other car in the lot
- park in the handicapped spot..........even if you're handicapped
- leave your grocery cart in the middle of the isle to read the label on the Campbells tomato soup can
- leave your grocery cart in the middle of the parking lot...next to my car...on a slope...in the wind
- run a red light......you're as likely to be deep-sixed as the poor fool you hit
- pass school bus while it's lights are flashing.......your kids might be on that bus
- pass a semi on the right
- sell cars for a living........never met one that I liked
- sell insurance for a living......
- work for the IRS.........if the tax system was simple and direct these drolls would be out of jobs and off the public payroll
- tailgate.......has anyone ever sped up because they were being tailgated
- let your kids loose in the store, resturant, ....
- talk on your cell phone on an airplane, in a bus, on the subway, ....
- write Dear Abby........for real
- internet date.......for real
- watch Survivor, Amazing Race, American Idol, Who Wants to be a Millionare, ....
- send me religous propaganda....of any kind
- send me political propaganda....of any kind
- wear your religion on your sleeve.....don't you trust your faith?
- whine about the weather.......like it's better in the Amazon and the Artic
- whine about the traffic......like you're not contributing to it
- whine about your job.......if you call it your job then it's a job and it won't be any fun by definition
- in fact, whine about anything
- state that you work very hard.........who doesn't in their own mind
- rubberneck at an accident............do you think that will save the victims
- ask for a tip for a service already paid for........charge the market rate
- perpetuate rumors.......scum
- gossip.......more scum
- start gossip.......worst than scum
- ambulance chasing lawyers......who advertize on billboards and TV
- sit next to me and my date in an 1/2 empty theater
- talk during a movie
- get to the movie 10 minutes after the trailers have ended
- hum or whistle in public.........it ain't cool
- talk about your personal finances......no matter how bad or good they are
- brag about your kids......no matter how bad or good they are
- condemn drugs but chain smoke cigs and swill alkie
- wish for the good old days.........like when caves were the new suburbia and the sabertooth was to be feared
- claim to be old fashioned.........like having a desire to do the laundry on a wash board and salt the meat
- proclaim God Bless America..........what's wrong with the rest of the universe
- don't understand today's kids.........were you understood as a kid
- watch golf on TV.........it's boring enough playing the game
- whine about being abused.........it's turning out that everybody was abused
- let the pets run your life
- put the vet's phone number on speed dial ahead of your doctor's number....and mine
- pay 2 dollars for a 10oz bottle of water and whine about the cost of gas.....and beer
- order Sam Adams beer thinking it's a fine microbrew
- order Budweiser thinking it's a beer
- a priest taking a vow of celibacy and abusing kids of the flock....if they truly believed, then offer them an option of being neutered
- toss a butt out the window of your car.....you have yellow teeth.....the car reeks of smoke.......your breath would knock a camel down.......but you can't stomach putting the butt in the ashtray
- toss a butt on the sidewalk and give it a good foot twist to grind the dark deep ash into the concrete.......real attractive
- toss a butt anywhere but in the ashtray
- wear a bumper sticker that says my kid made the honor role.....BTW, absolutely no one cares
- circle the parking lot 13 times looking for a spot closer to the door
- park between the only 2 cars in the lot.....if you're that lonely and need human contact......visit Manhattan and ride the subways at rush hour
- park next to my car..........the only other car in the lot
- park in the handicapped spot..........even if you're handicapped
- leave your grocery cart in the middle of the isle to read the label on the Campbells tomato soup can
- leave your grocery cart in the middle of the parking lot...next to my car...on a slope...in the wind
- run a red light......you're as likely to be deep-sixed as the poor fool you hit
- pass school bus while it's lights are flashing.......your kids might be on that bus
- pass a semi on the right
- sell cars for a living........never met one that I liked
- sell insurance for a living......
- work for the IRS.........if the tax system was simple and direct these drolls would be out of jobs and off the public payroll
- tailgate.......has anyone ever sped up because they were being tailgated
- let your kids loose in the store, resturant, ....
- talk on your cell phone on an airplane, in a bus, on the subway, ....
- write Dear Abby........for real
- internet date.......for real
- watch Survivor, Amazing Race, American Idol, Who Wants to be a Millionare, ....
- send me religous propaganda....of any kind
- send me political propaganda....of any kind
- wear your religion on your sleeve.....don't you trust your faith?
- whine about the weather.......like it's better in the Amazon and the Artic
- whine about the traffic......like you're not contributing to it
- whine about your job.......if you call it your job then it's a job and it won't be any fun by definition
- in fact, whine about anything
- state that you work very hard.........who doesn't in their own mind
- rubberneck at an accident............do you think that will save the victims
- ask for a tip for a service already paid for........charge the market rate
- perpetuate rumors.......scum
- gossip.......more scum
- start gossip.......worst than scum
- ambulance chasing lawyers......who advertize on billboards and TV
- sit next to me and my date in an 1/2 empty theater
- talk during a movie
- get to the movie 10 minutes after the trailers have ended
- hum or whistle in public.........it ain't cool
- talk about your personal finances......no matter how bad or good they are
- brag about your kids......no matter how bad or good they are
- condemn drugs but chain smoke cigs and swill alkie
- wish for the good old days.........like when caves were the new suburbia and the sabertooth was to be feared
- claim to be old fashioned.........like having a desire to do the laundry on a wash board and salt the meat
- proclaim God Bless America..........what's wrong with the rest of the universe
- don't understand today's kids.........were you understood as a kid
- watch golf on TV.........it's boring enough playing the game
- whine about being abused.........it's turning out that everybody was abused
- let the pets run your life
- put the vet's phone number on speed dial ahead of your doctor's number....and mine
- pay 2 dollars for a 10oz bottle of water and whine about the cost of gas.....and beer
- order Sam Adams beer thinking it's a fine microbrew
- order Budweiser thinking it's a beer
- a priest taking a vow of celibacy and abusing kids of the flock....if they truly believed, then offer them an option of being neutered
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