Part 2: You might be a real Vermonter if

- your 1st power tool was a 30cc chain saw.
- your 2nd power tool was an ice auger.
- your 3rd power tool was an electric beer cooler.
- driving lessons were bull raking hay after school in the 1st grade.
- your wife drives your pickup more than you do.
- your wife can out arm wrestle you and all your male cousins. At once.
- your wife has more hand calluses. Than you. And your cousins. All together.
- you have more teeth than your wife, although yours are removable.
- pro-choice is drinking the beer of your choice.
- pro-life is Sunday morning after a Saturday night at the county fair.
- women's liberation is getting your pickup back.
- social security is a barn full of hay and a silo topped off.
- medicare is a care package with bag balm, horse liniment and ace bandages.
- subsidies are 5 cent returnable bottles.
- tax reform is for idiots that pay taxes.
- national security is a 30-06.
- border patrol is a 30-06, 3x scope and a stocked beer cooler.
- inhuman treatment of animals is an empty meat locker.
- kindergarten was cleaning manure gutters, feeding calves and getting down hay.
- sex education was a guy with an oversized plastic glove, 2 foot reach and a long glass rod.
- your family pets included a mad rooster, kid killing gander, a pair of roof perched guinea hens and a car chasing mangy cow dog.
- a Sunday country ride included equine.
- a snow day meant a long walk in tall boots.
- a mud day meant a day off.
- a hay day was a long day.
- a sugaring day was a longer day.
- a power outage meant hand cramps and mastitis.
- the world doesn't exist west of the Ausable Chasm, south of the Flume in Franconia Notch, east of Mount Washington, and north of Sherbrooke, Quebec.
- education reform is a bigger stick.
- college prep was 4-H animal husbandry.
- sand lot baseball was a freshly hayed field and 10 siblings.
- a morning jog included 60 head with bloated bags, bull thistles, and fresh lane pies.
- an afternoon workout included 200 75 lb overhead hay bale tosses.