Grannie spots and kittens

While making myself pretty a few days ago I happened to spot a pencil eraser sized, irregular shaped, gray spot on the upper left side rib cage area.  After the weekly pruning of the nose and ear hairs I fire up Google - "signs of skin cancer."  I soon learn the mole alphabet, the ABCDE of suspicous skin growths. 

"A" is for symmetry. Anything not perfectly round or apparently equal sided is for concern.  "B" is for border and an irregular border is grim reaper time.  "C" is for color.  Gray or dark skin pigment is not a cheer you up tone.  "D" is for diameter.  Anything over 6mm (pencil erasor) is call the morgue.  "E" is for evolution, i.e., has it changed - well ya, it just showed up!  Get a toe tag.

I had the wife (she's the beneficiary of my life insurance) make me an appointment post-haste with the skin doctor.  I had been to him twice before in years past and he had dismissed my lesions with a squirt of his liquid nitrogen bottle he had tied to his tool belt and made life normal again. 

There's more back story.  I grew up in the era when early summer back burn was the right of passage for a great summer.  In my case living and working on a dairy farm made this process way too easy.  A few shirtless days on the tractor in early June and one had burn blisters that the sun god Apollo would admire.  From my belt and south it was milky white.  Farmers do not wear shorts or deordorant. I am also the descendant of northern Europeans of the fair skin and missing melanin kind.

Doc day arrives and I make the visit.  He comes in with his micrometer and we exchange a few pleasantries and he asks to see the goods.  I lift my shirt, point to the offender and he measures the rib eye and nonchalantly says "6 millimeters .. old age spot."  I gasp and say "old age spot?!"  "Can't be.  You sure it ain't cancer?"   "Nope."   No cancer but I got a damn gray grannie spot.  And he said more would be likely.  What the hell!!

Oh well, my hair has been grayish for a few years and I can't run as fast anymore.  I suppose a gray skin lesion or two will be useful to give us more space at the beach while the young kids from New Jersey gawk at the scary old man.

Ever see a gray grannie spot on a kitten?  Me either.